CPE

CPE. Clinical Pastoral Education. Required of all M.Div students in the candidacy process of the ELCA (and many other denominations)

CPE is a 400-hour process where we learn about ourselves. We also learn how to give pastoral care. We learn about ourselves as pastoral caregivers. Most Lutheran people choose to do their CPE unit as a full-time unit during the summer between years one and two of seminary. I am not 'most people' in this situation. I am choosing to do mine during the school year.

My original reason for choosing the school year plan was determined by my first choice of CPE sites. Here in Chicago, there is what is called the Urban CPE Consortium. This is a group of about a dozen social service agencies and you can do a unit of CPE through it. They have an intensive summer unit, but I am going to be at home in the summer, not in Chicago, so that nixes that idea. They have an extended unit that runs from about September to April. I did not consider that as an option because they also have an extended unit that runs from January - April. That was where and when I was going to do CPE. I took five classes this semester so that I would still get nine classes in this year. With extended units, you are not supposed to take a full load. At the beginning of the year, I sent the supervisor an email, telling her I was interested in the Winter/Spring unit and what was the application deadline? She responded that they were not certain they were going to do that unit this year, but they probably would, and if I sent my materials in by early to mid November, that should be fine. So I didn't think much of it until we had our CPE meeting on campus in early October and I started my applications. I mailed it to Urban CPE. She received it. She informed me that they had decided not to do that unit.

Crap. Now what am I going to do? I am interested in working in the social service arena. That was no longer an option. I have been insane this entire semester with an overload for the sole purpose of being able to do CPE next semester. So, I started looking into more traditional CPE sites. I applied for one within walking distance of school. The options would have been a retirement home setting or a hospital setting. I interviewed with them. The interview went very well. There were 8 applicants for 6 positions. I was not one of the ones chosen.

I inquired about several hospital programs. Most of them responded that they either didn't offer a unit in my time frame (even though websites indicated they did) or they were already full. I applied at a Hospice organization. Their extended unit started in March and ran to the end of August. That defeats my purpose of finishing it before May ends.

I applied to a hospital. She called me and said that while her unit would not work for me, another hospital in the same organization had one that would. She was very excited and said based on my application materials, she would have loved to have worked with me. She contacted the other hospital. I contacted the other hospital. I had an interview at the other hospital.

It was the most awful, horrendous, terrible interview I have ever had in my entire life. They would ask me Question A. I would answer Question A. Then they would say "Well, we really were looking for Answer B." (why did they not ask me Question B, then?) So then I answered Question B. They did not like my answer to Question B. The interview was awkward because I met with the supervisory student (one who is trainign to be a CPE supervisor), the CPE supervisor at that particular hospital. And the supervisor over all of the hospitals in that organization. He was present. On a computer screen. Via skype over a crappy internet connection! I had no warning of this until I was walking into the interview room and the student told me "We're trying out new technology" - I did not take that to mean it was part of the interview!

Anyway. The interview was very confrontational. And redundant. The guy via skype asked me the same question, in the same manner, about 5 times. About 1/2 way through, I had the very strong urge to just say "It is clear that you do not like me. I'm not feeling real good towards you, can I just leave now?" But I didn't and I survived the interview.

Maybe experiences from hell are to prepare us for what is coming next.

A few days after this interview, I received an email from the last place I had any possiblity of working my schedule into. I had alerted them that I had to be in class on Monday and Wednesdays and would thier unit still work for me. She emailed me and said I would have to make up the time, but that there were several options for that and yes, it could be worked out! From her initial email, I had a good feeling towards her and a positive attitude toward the site (even though it is a hospital and that just makes me nervous!)

She initially wanted to interview me on Dec. 12. Well...I'll already be in Louisville in that time, but I said that if that was the only option, I would work it out to be there. She instead worked it into her schedule that I could come yesterday, Wed. Dec. 7.

I had to miss Pastoral Care class to go. But, because I had never missed it and especially because my instructor is the Field Ed director, I figured she would understand, which she did. I met at 2:30 with a current CPE student for an hour. She gave me a tour of part of the hospital. We didn't spend too much time touring, however, because in January, most of the current hospital is moving to the new hospital and so nothing will be the same, anyway. We spent most of the time talking in the food court place.

She was a retired woman who had been in business most of her life and after retirement, decided to do some CPE. She absolutely loves her current work! It was impossible not to see her enthusiasm and get drawn into it. She was clear that CPE was a challenge, often difficult and draining. But she could not have hid her positive attitude for it if she had tried. She was also very clear that everyone at the hospital was very nice and helpful, and no one would be annoyed or bothered with any question that is asked of anyone. I was feeling very positive about the experience. As part of our tour, she showed me the on-call room, where the oncall chaplain hangs out/sleeps. The intern who was on call was there. She just graduated from LSTC and actually still lives in student housing - in my courtyard!! (which means I could get to her apartment without leaving my locked 'yard')

Then I interviewed with the woman who will be supervising the unit that starts in January. It was an hour of having a great conversation. Some of her questions were similar to what I had been asked last week. But because the atmosphere was so much less confrontational and more friendly, and I had had a week to ponder those types of questions, I felt that I gave much better, thoughtful, and honest answers than last week. Before I even left, she asked me how long it would take me to respond to a letter of acceptance and a few minutes later, she told me she was going to send me one! So from January 3 - March 15 (or maybe a bit later to make up my missed time), I will be a full-time CPE intern at Rush University Medical Center.