I did it! I survived my first semester of seminary!! The last day of the semester was December 9. I turned in my final paper on the 10th and met with my Learning Partner and had lunch with her and one of my roommates before I came home. I stopped at Seymour for a while and then came to Louisville.
Last Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday mornings I worked at Target. At midnight. Was supposed to be 4, but they decided we needed to have midnight shifts all week to get everything caught up. Yay paycheck!
Monday Rebecca and I had dinner with Pastor and Margaret. It was a wonderful evening of talking about school and stuff and hearing about things I can look forward to in the pastor world. :)
All of my grades were finally posted yesterday (some were posted earlier). I took all of my classes pass-fail and I passed all five of them! Even Greek!!
My CPE unit will start on January 4. I have been emailing the pastoral care department assistant - there is lots of paperwork and such I have to fill out first. I also have to have a TB test done, which I will do here next week. Also got an email with CPE information. In a typical CPE unit, the fewest students it can have is 3 and the most is 6. There is going to be 3 in my group. I'm not sure if the small size is a good thing or a bad thing. The other two are already ordained.
Well, I guess that's all at the moment. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! if I don't post before then! :)
Friday, December 23, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
CPE
CPE. Clinical Pastoral Education. Required of all M.Div students in the candidacy process of the ELCA (and many other denominations)
CPE is a 400-hour process where we learn about ourselves. We also learn how to give pastoral care. We learn about ourselves as pastoral caregivers. Most Lutheran people choose to do their CPE unit as a full-time unit during the summer between years one and two of seminary. I am not 'most people' in this situation. I am choosing to do mine during the school year.
My original reason for choosing the school year plan was determined by my first choice of CPE sites. Here in Chicago, there is what is called the Urban CPE Consortium. This is a group of about a dozen social service agencies and you can do a unit of CPE through it. They have an intensive summer unit, but I am going to be at home in the summer, not in Chicago, so that nixes that idea. They have an extended unit that runs from about September to April. I did not consider that as an option because they also have an extended unit that runs from January - April. That was where and when I was going to do CPE. I took five classes this semester so that I would still get nine classes in this year. With extended units, you are not supposed to take a full load. At the beginning of the year, I sent the supervisor an email, telling her I was interested in the Winter/Spring unit and what was the application deadline? She responded that they were not certain they were going to do that unit this year, but they probably would, and if I sent my materials in by early to mid November, that should be fine. So I didn't think much of it until we had our CPE meeting on campus in early October and I started my applications. I mailed it to Urban CPE. She received it. She informed me that they had decided not to do that unit.
Crap. Now what am I going to do? I am interested in working in the social service arena. That was no longer an option. I have been insane this entire semester with an overload for the sole purpose of being able to do CPE next semester. So, I started looking into more traditional CPE sites. I applied for one within walking distance of school. The options would have been a retirement home setting or a hospital setting. I interviewed with them. The interview went very well. There were 8 applicants for 6 positions. I was not one of the ones chosen.
I inquired about several hospital programs. Most of them responded that they either didn't offer a unit in my time frame (even though websites indicated they did) or they were already full. I applied at a Hospice organization. Their extended unit started in March and ran to the end of August. That defeats my purpose of finishing it before May ends.
I applied to a hospital. She called me and said that while her unit would not work for me, another hospital in the same organization had one that would. She was very excited and said based on my application materials, she would have loved to have worked with me. She contacted the other hospital. I contacted the other hospital. I had an interview at the other hospital.
It was the most awful, horrendous, terrible interview I have ever had in my entire life. They would ask me Question A. I would answer Question A. Then they would say "Well, we really were looking for Answer B." (why did they not ask me Question B, then?) So then I answered Question B. They did not like my answer to Question B. The interview was awkward because I met with the supervisory student (one who is trainign to be a CPE supervisor), the CPE supervisor at that particular hospital. And the supervisor over all of the hospitals in that organization. He was present. On a computer screen. Via skype over a crappy internet connection! I had no warning of this until I was walking into the interview room and the student told me "We're trying out new technology" - I did not take that to mean it was part of the interview!
Anyway. The interview was very confrontational. And redundant. The guy via skype asked me the same question, in the same manner, about 5 times. About 1/2 way through, I had the very strong urge to just say "It is clear that you do not like me. I'm not feeling real good towards you, can I just leave now?" But I didn't and I survived the interview.
Maybe experiences from hell are to prepare us for what is coming next.
A few days after this interview, I received an email from the last place I had any possiblity of working my schedule into. I had alerted them that I had to be in class on Monday and Wednesdays and would thier unit still work for me. She emailed me and said I would have to make up the time, but that there were several options for that and yes, it could be worked out! From her initial email, I had a good feeling towards her and a positive attitude toward the site (even though it is a hospital and that just makes me nervous!)
She initially wanted to interview me on Dec. 12. Well...I'll already be in Louisville in that time, but I said that if that was the only option, I would work it out to be there. She instead worked it into her schedule that I could come yesterday, Wed. Dec. 7.
I had to miss Pastoral Care class to go. But, because I had never missed it and especially because my instructor is the Field Ed director, I figured she would understand, which she did. I met at 2:30 with a current CPE student for an hour. She gave me a tour of part of the hospital. We didn't spend too much time touring, however, because in January, most of the current hospital is moving to the new hospital and so nothing will be the same, anyway. We spent most of the time talking in the food court place.
She was a retired woman who had been in business most of her life and after retirement, decided to do some CPE. She absolutely loves her current work! It was impossible not to see her enthusiasm and get drawn into it. She was clear that CPE was a challenge, often difficult and draining. But she could not have hid her positive attitude for it if she had tried. She was also very clear that everyone at the hospital was very nice and helpful, and no one would be annoyed or bothered with any question that is asked of anyone. I was feeling very positive about the experience. As part of our tour, she showed me the on-call room, where the oncall chaplain hangs out/sleeps. The intern who was on call was there. She just graduated from LSTC and actually still lives in student housing - in my courtyard!! (which means I could get to her apartment without leaving my locked 'yard')
Then I interviewed with the woman who will be supervising the unit that starts in January. It was an hour of having a great conversation. Some of her questions were similar to what I had been asked last week. But because the atmosphere was so much less confrontational and more friendly, and I had had a week to ponder those types of questions, I felt that I gave much better, thoughtful, and honest answers than last week. Before I even left, she asked me how long it would take me to respond to a letter of acceptance and a few minutes later, she told me she was going to send me one! So from January 3 - March 15 (or maybe a bit later to make up my missed time), I will be a full-time CPE intern at Rush University Medical Center.
CPE is a 400-hour process where we learn about ourselves. We also learn how to give pastoral care. We learn about ourselves as pastoral caregivers. Most Lutheran people choose to do their CPE unit as a full-time unit during the summer between years one and two of seminary. I am not 'most people' in this situation. I am choosing to do mine during the school year.
My original reason for choosing the school year plan was determined by my first choice of CPE sites. Here in Chicago, there is what is called the Urban CPE Consortium. This is a group of about a dozen social service agencies and you can do a unit of CPE through it. They have an intensive summer unit, but I am going to be at home in the summer, not in Chicago, so that nixes that idea. They have an extended unit that runs from about September to April. I did not consider that as an option because they also have an extended unit that runs from January - April. That was where and when I was going to do CPE. I took five classes this semester so that I would still get nine classes in this year. With extended units, you are not supposed to take a full load. At the beginning of the year, I sent the supervisor an email, telling her I was interested in the Winter/Spring unit and what was the application deadline? She responded that they were not certain they were going to do that unit this year, but they probably would, and if I sent my materials in by early to mid November, that should be fine. So I didn't think much of it until we had our CPE meeting on campus in early October and I started my applications. I mailed it to Urban CPE. She received it. She informed me that they had decided not to do that unit.
Crap. Now what am I going to do? I am interested in working in the social service arena. That was no longer an option. I have been insane this entire semester with an overload for the sole purpose of being able to do CPE next semester. So, I started looking into more traditional CPE sites. I applied for one within walking distance of school. The options would have been a retirement home setting or a hospital setting. I interviewed with them. The interview went very well. There were 8 applicants for 6 positions. I was not one of the ones chosen.
I inquired about several hospital programs. Most of them responded that they either didn't offer a unit in my time frame (even though websites indicated they did) or they were already full. I applied at a Hospice organization. Their extended unit started in March and ran to the end of August. That defeats my purpose of finishing it before May ends.
I applied to a hospital. She called me and said that while her unit would not work for me, another hospital in the same organization had one that would. She was very excited and said based on my application materials, she would have loved to have worked with me. She contacted the other hospital. I contacted the other hospital. I had an interview at the other hospital.
It was the most awful, horrendous, terrible interview I have ever had in my entire life. They would ask me Question A. I would answer Question A. Then they would say "Well, we really were looking for Answer B." (why did they not ask me Question B, then?) So then I answered Question B. They did not like my answer to Question B. The interview was awkward because I met with the supervisory student (one who is trainign to be a CPE supervisor), the CPE supervisor at that particular hospital. And the supervisor over all of the hospitals in that organization. He was present. On a computer screen. Via skype over a crappy internet connection! I had no warning of this until I was walking into the interview room and the student told me "We're trying out new technology" - I did not take that to mean it was part of the interview!
Anyway. The interview was very confrontational. And redundant. The guy via skype asked me the same question, in the same manner, about 5 times. About 1/2 way through, I had the very strong urge to just say "It is clear that you do not like me. I'm not feeling real good towards you, can I just leave now?" But I didn't and I survived the interview.
Maybe experiences from hell are to prepare us for what is coming next.
A few days after this interview, I received an email from the last place I had any possiblity of working my schedule into. I had alerted them that I had to be in class on Monday and Wednesdays and would thier unit still work for me. She emailed me and said I would have to make up the time, but that there were several options for that and yes, it could be worked out! From her initial email, I had a good feeling towards her and a positive attitude toward the site (even though it is a hospital and that just makes me nervous!)
She initially wanted to interview me on Dec. 12. Well...I'll already be in Louisville in that time, but I said that if that was the only option, I would work it out to be there. She instead worked it into her schedule that I could come yesterday, Wed. Dec. 7.
I had to miss Pastoral Care class to go. But, because I had never missed it and especially because my instructor is the Field Ed director, I figured she would understand, which she did. I met at 2:30 with a current CPE student for an hour. She gave me a tour of part of the hospital. We didn't spend too much time touring, however, because in January, most of the current hospital is moving to the new hospital and so nothing will be the same, anyway. We spent most of the time talking in the food court place.
She was a retired woman who had been in business most of her life and after retirement, decided to do some CPE. She absolutely loves her current work! It was impossible not to see her enthusiasm and get drawn into it. She was clear that CPE was a challenge, often difficult and draining. But she could not have hid her positive attitude for it if she had tried. She was also very clear that everyone at the hospital was very nice and helpful, and no one would be annoyed or bothered with any question that is asked of anyone. I was feeling very positive about the experience. As part of our tour, she showed me the on-call room, where the oncall chaplain hangs out/sleeps. The intern who was on call was there. She just graduated from LSTC and actually still lives in student housing - in my courtyard!! (which means I could get to her apartment without leaving my locked 'yard')
Then I interviewed with the woman who will be supervising the unit that starts in January. It was an hour of having a great conversation. Some of her questions were similar to what I had been asked last week. But because the atmosphere was so much less confrontational and more friendly, and I had had a week to ponder those types of questions, I felt that I gave much better, thoughtful, and honest answers than last week. Before I even left, she asked me how long it would take me to respond to a letter of acceptance and a few minutes later, she told me she was going to send me one! So from January 3 - March 15 (or maybe a bit later to make up my missed time), I will be a full-time CPE intern at Rush University Medical Center.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Two More Weeks!
In two weeks, my first semester of seminary will be over. My how time flies!!! I spent a great Thanksgiving week at home, split between Louisville and Seymour. I worked four mornings at Target. I ate at Texas Roadhouse with Rebecca. I had good conversations with Pastor and other church friends. I ate lots of food. I played (and lost) a game of cards. I went shopping for 14 hours, thus staying awake for 24. I celebrated my mom's birthday with Longhorn Steakhouse, casino and food.
And I did approximately 1/2 hour of school work. Oops. I brought an entire bag home with me. Should have saved the energy of toting it around, since that's basically all I did with it.
But I did get everything done that I needed to get done before break. I got my Pentateuch draft done, and my prof and TA made some suggestions, but nothing that is going to make me scrap the entire paper. I got both my pastoral care papers done. I wrote my history paper. I passed my Greek quiz.
I also had my CPE interview. It went very well, but I did not get into that program. There were 8 applicants for 6 positions and they picked the ones that would work best together. In CPE, it's not just that you'll be good for the job, but they also want to make sure the whole group will work well together.
So today I am back in classes. Pentateuch was kind of interesting today. Our class had a joint class session with Systematic Theology. We sat on one side of the table, they sat on the other and we discussed why bad things happen to good people and why good things sometimes happen to us. It was a good class, though it was a challenge to hear our partners accross the table - since there were about 30 people in the room talking at the same time. But one of my partners told me that what I said was really good.
I then went to the blood drive that was on campus. Almost got rejected for a fast heart rate but the second time was ok. I then met with the Field Ed director. She basically told me what I already knew - that I need to re-contact the people who I haven't heard from and if nothing happens, to consider doing CPE during the summer.
But then after Greek, I had a voicemail from one of those contacts, wanting to interview me tomorrow morning. So I'll need to leave Church History early, but I am going to interview at 11. I hope it goes well and that my classes that I still need to take do not cause a problem. She said there is one spot left for the Winter/Spring unit.
I also went to Five Guys with a classmate today. Good food, good times, good conversation. :)
And I did approximately 1/2 hour of school work. Oops. I brought an entire bag home with me. Should have saved the energy of toting it around, since that's basically all I did with it.
But I did get everything done that I needed to get done before break. I got my Pentateuch draft done, and my prof and TA made some suggestions, but nothing that is going to make me scrap the entire paper. I got both my pastoral care papers done. I wrote my history paper. I passed my Greek quiz.
I also had my CPE interview. It went very well, but I did not get into that program. There were 8 applicants for 6 positions and they picked the ones that would work best together. In CPE, it's not just that you'll be good for the job, but they also want to make sure the whole group will work well together.
So today I am back in classes. Pentateuch was kind of interesting today. Our class had a joint class session with Systematic Theology. We sat on one side of the table, they sat on the other and we discussed why bad things happen to good people and why good things sometimes happen to us. It was a good class, though it was a challenge to hear our partners accross the table - since there were about 30 people in the room talking at the same time. But one of my partners told me that what I said was really good.
I then went to the blood drive that was on campus. Almost got rejected for a fast heart rate but the second time was ok. I then met with the Field Ed director. She basically told me what I already knew - that I need to re-contact the people who I haven't heard from and if nothing happens, to consider doing CPE during the summer.
But then after Greek, I had a voicemail from one of those contacts, wanting to interview me tomorrow morning. So I'll need to leave Church History early, but I am going to interview at 11. I hope it goes well and that my classes that I still need to take do not cause a problem. She said there is one spot left for the Winter/Spring unit.
I also went to Five Guys with a classmate today. Good food, good times, good conversation. :)
Friday, November 11, 2011
Busy Days Ahead!
Today is Friday. I think. Yes, yes it is Friday. November 11. Veteran's Day. My dad's Birthday.
And day 1 of a 3 day study blitz. I'm somewhat of a procrastinator.
Well, that's not even really it. I have procrastinated. But I've procrastinated because I didn't have time to be proactive. That means I didn't procrastinate, doesn't it?
Yes, I'm rambling and making no sense. For any of you who are thinking of seminary, I urge you...do NOT take 5 classes in your first semester if one of them is Greek.
Don't get me wrong. My extra class is great. It's actually my favorite. And that instructor is now my advisor. But Greek takes so much TIME. I finally just finished my FINAL Greek assignment. YAY!!
The next days are not going to be happy days for me. Monday I have CPE Interview!! It is at a retirement home about a mile or so down the street from LSTC. I hope it goes well and that their time frame works for me. I want to start approximately January 16 and finish before the semester ends on May 11. I'll have to wait and see.
Tuesday I have a 15+ page history paper due. I could have probably made my life easier and done a project instead of a paper. But I'm not really a project person. I'm a paper person.
Tuesday I also have a Greek quiz. I really need to study my vocab words.
Wednesday I have a 15+ page Pentateuch 2nd draft of a paper due. I have a 8+ page Verbatim due in Pastoral Care. I have a 2 page reflection paper due - but I have nearly an entire book to read before I can reflect on it.
Thursday I will be happy. After Greek. In Greek I might not be happy because we will get our quiz back. But I will be done at 2:15 and then I will be on Thanksgiving Break!
Of course, during Thanksgiving Break, I will need to do the final draft of Pentateuch. I will need to do my 8+ page final Pastoral Care paper. I will need to do my 15+ page Christian Social Thought paper (a paper I am very excited to do - writing about women's suffrage and gay marriage!!) I will need to write two 5 page History reflections (after either going to a church service or reading book(s)). I will need to retake my History midterm that did not go as well as I would have liked. I will need to write a 5 page Social Thought presentation, which requires reading the book first. I am also going to work at Target for three days and spend time with family and friends.
I'm tired just writing about everything I need to do. But I will survive. And then the semester will be over. And then I can do it all over again. I will only have three classes in Spring semester, but I am also (hopefully!!!) doing my CPE - which will require 25+ hours a week.
Which reminds me - registration for next semester was on Thursday. Assuming that I do not need to change things around for CPE, I will be taking a Leadership class - Building an Inclusive Church for JTerm. Spring term will be Lutheran Confessions, Worship and Life and Letters of Paul. I'm taking Paul online so that I have fewer class hours...again trying to prepare for CPE.
Registration was kind of interesting....I was assigned an advisor when I first got here. I've been trying since about the second or third week of classes to set up a time to meet with her. She either never responded to my emails or, like she did during Reading Week, emailed me at 9:30 and asked if I could meet with her at 11:30...the same day....of our off week so I wasn't even in Chicago. Anyway, I finally decided that I would just find another one. So I did. My Christian Social Thought professor. I can already tell that this is going to be SO MUCH BETTER! Anyway, because of that, my original advisor had to sign the advisor change form, but they told me it woudln't be processed before registration so she also had to clear me for registration (something I did not know they had to do). But when I got online before registration, my advisor HAD been changed. So then I was afraid that my new advisor didn't know and hadn't cleared me. But it all worked out and I registered for classes at 12:04 am on Thursday morning. I so don't see what is so wrong with walking an actual sheet of paper to the registrar. I guess staying up to the wee hours is better?!?!
So...that's my life in a nutshell right now.
And day 1 of a 3 day study blitz. I'm somewhat of a procrastinator.
Well, that's not even really it. I have procrastinated. But I've procrastinated because I didn't have time to be proactive. That means I didn't procrastinate, doesn't it?
Yes, I'm rambling and making no sense. For any of you who are thinking of seminary, I urge you...do NOT take 5 classes in your first semester if one of them is Greek.
Don't get me wrong. My extra class is great. It's actually my favorite. And that instructor is now my advisor. But Greek takes so much TIME. I finally just finished my FINAL Greek assignment. YAY!!
The next days are not going to be happy days for me. Monday I have CPE Interview!! It is at a retirement home about a mile or so down the street from LSTC. I hope it goes well and that their time frame works for me. I want to start approximately January 16 and finish before the semester ends on May 11. I'll have to wait and see.
Tuesday I have a 15+ page history paper due. I could have probably made my life easier and done a project instead of a paper. But I'm not really a project person. I'm a paper person.
Tuesday I also have a Greek quiz. I really need to study my vocab words.
Wednesday I have a 15+ page Pentateuch 2nd draft of a paper due. I have a 8+ page Verbatim due in Pastoral Care. I have a 2 page reflection paper due - but I have nearly an entire book to read before I can reflect on it.
Thursday I will be happy. After Greek. In Greek I might not be happy because we will get our quiz back. But I will be done at 2:15 and then I will be on Thanksgiving Break!
Of course, during Thanksgiving Break, I will need to do the final draft of Pentateuch. I will need to do my 8+ page final Pastoral Care paper. I will need to do my 15+ page Christian Social Thought paper (a paper I am very excited to do - writing about women's suffrage and gay marriage!!) I will need to write two 5 page History reflections (after either going to a church service or reading book(s)). I will need to retake my History midterm that did not go as well as I would have liked. I will need to write a 5 page Social Thought presentation, which requires reading the book first. I am also going to work at Target for three days and spend time with family and friends.
I'm tired just writing about everything I need to do. But I will survive. And then the semester will be over. And then I can do it all over again. I will only have three classes in Spring semester, but I am also (hopefully!!!) doing my CPE - which will require 25+ hours a week.
Which reminds me - registration for next semester was on Thursday. Assuming that I do not need to change things around for CPE, I will be taking a Leadership class - Building an Inclusive Church for JTerm. Spring term will be Lutheran Confessions, Worship and Life and Letters of Paul. I'm taking Paul online so that I have fewer class hours...again trying to prepare for CPE.
Registration was kind of interesting....I was assigned an advisor when I first got here. I've been trying since about the second or third week of classes to set up a time to meet with her. She either never responded to my emails or, like she did during Reading Week, emailed me at 9:30 and asked if I could meet with her at 11:30...the same day....of our off week so I wasn't even in Chicago. Anyway, I finally decided that I would just find another one. So I did. My Christian Social Thought professor. I can already tell that this is going to be SO MUCH BETTER! Anyway, because of that, my original advisor had to sign the advisor change form, but they told me it woudln't be processed before registration so she also had to clear me for registration (something I did not know they had to do). But when I got online before registration, my advisor HAD been changed. So then I was afraid that my new advisor didn't know and hadn't cleared me. But it all worked out and I registered for classes at 12:04 am on Thursday morning. I so don't see what is so wrong with walking an actual sheet of paper to the registrar. I guess staying up to the wee hours is better?!?!
So...that's my life in a nutshell right now.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
I have a job!!
Yay! I finally have a job on campus! Well, technically, I got the job about a month ago. But the people I was supposed to work with didn't happen.
My job is being a Learning Partner at the Language Resource and Writing Center. This Center is part of the library on campus, and it is there to assist people in writing papers, doing assignments, etc. Learning Partners are people who are assigned to students who need help in writing. Most of them are international students. Because English is not their native language, sometimes they need a little extra assistance to translate their thoughts into proper English for their papers. Some also want to brush up on their English speaking skills.
So apparently I was chosen to be a Learning Partner based on my writing sample. This summer, all incoming students had to do a writing sample so that the school would know where we are in our writing. I was really annoyed at having to do this, since it was homework and I wasn't even in school yet! But I must have written it ok, since when I got here, I got an email asking me if I wanted to apply to be a Learning Partner.
Pretty much, if you got that email and applied, you got the job. They gave each of us the names of people who we should work with. One of my original people did not really need to go to tutoring....even the Center said so. The other one never responded to my initial email to set up a meeting. But last week I was given two more names and i met with both of them today. One of them is a ThM student and the other is a PhD student, working on her dissertation.
So I am going to meet with each of them, weekly or biweekly, depending on their needs and help them make sure their papers are in good form (hopefully better than that sentence is! :) ) I'm excited and a bit nervous....me? helping someone with her DISSERTATION????
Oh, and as long as I remember to turn in my hours, I will get paid. :)
My job is being a Learning Partner at the Language Resource and Writing Center. This Center is part of the library on campus, and it is there to assist people in writing papers, doing assignments, etc. Learning Partners are people who are assigned to students who need help in writing. Most of them are international students. Because English is not their native language, sometimes they need a little extra assistance to translate their thoughts into proper English for their papers. Some also want to brush up on their English speaking skills.
So apparently I was chosen to be a Learning Partner based on my writing sample. This summer, all incoming students had to do a writing sample so that the school would know where we are in our writing. I was really annoyed at having to do this, since it was homework and I wasn't even in school yet! But I must have written it ok, since when I got here, I got an email asking me if I wanted to apply to be a Learning Partner.
Pretty much, if you got that email and applied, you got the job. They gave each of us the names of people who we should work with. One of my original people did not really need to go to tutoring....even the Center said so. The other one never responded to my initial email to set up a meeting. But last week I was given two more names and i met with both of them today. One of them is a ThM student and the other is a PhD student, working on her dissertation.
So I am going to meet with each of them, weekly or biweekly, depending on their needs and help them make sure their papers are in good form (hopefully better than that sentence is! :) ) I'm excited and a bit nervous....me? helping someone with her DISSERTATION????
Oh, and as long as I remember to turn in my hours, I will get paid. :)
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Chapel 2
If anyone could tell me how to get more than one picture on a posting without looking stupid, that would be great.
Anyway. This is the baptismal font in our chapel, in front of the windows looking out to the courtyard. Normally there are NOT two bowls of water on it, but apparently the motor died last week and they're waiting for a replacemnt. Normally, this font is constantly flowing from into the pool of water in the floor. On the other side of the windows, in the courtyard, is another pool of water. It's really pretty cool. You can always hear the water running and remember baptism.
Chapel
This is a picture of the chapel at LSTC. Nothing except the organ is in a permanent place. They planned that intentionally so that the chapel can be assembled in any setup. The windows look out onto 55th Street. Behind this picture, is another row of windows and the courtyard. Thus, LSTC is between the world (55th St) and nature (courtyard).
Regenstein
Yesterday I needed to do some research on a paper. And our library didn't really have anything helpful on my topic. So I went to the library at the University of Chicago. With my ACTS card, I was able to get myself a library card and get in. Miraculously, I also managed to find my way out. Five floors and two underground. And I think I visited all seven of them. Thankfully each floor had a map that showed you were each section was.
I wandered around for about an hour and a half. Getting somewhat frustrated because hardly any of the books I had found online were actually useful for my topic. And I couldn't find the JN and JK sections...which was where the two with the most promising titles were. I walked around. Went upstairs. Went downstairs. Finally figured out that they were on the B Level. Unfortunately, nothing told me where the B level was. So I went upstairs, thinking that maybe it was above the numbered floors. Nope. So I went downstairs. And under floor 1 was Level A and below Level A was Level B!! So I went there. And found shelves about 1 inch apart. They have buttons on the end. If you want to go down an aisle, you press the button and the shelves move so you can go down it. I am assuming there are sensors in the floor.....I'd hate to press a button and squish someone down three aisles!!
So I finally found the books I (think) I need. Next step was finding the exit. Which I did, eventually. Managed to find the circulation counter and check out my books. Hopefully the next time won't be quite the adventure. Though they are remodeling, so who knows.....
I wandered around for about an hour and a half. Getting somewhat frustrated because hardly any of the books I had found online were actually useful for my topic. And I couldn't find the JN and JK sections...which was where the two with the most promising titles were. I walked around. Went upstairs. Went downstairs. Finally figured out that they were on the B Level. Unfortunately, nothing told me where the B level was. So I went upstairs, thinking that maybe it was above the numbered floors. Nope. So I went downstairs. And under floor 1 was Level A and below Level A was Level B!! So I went there. And found shelves about 1 inch apart. They have buttons on the end. If you want to go down an aisle, you press the button and the shelves move so you can go down it. I am assuming there are sensors in the floor.....I'd hate to press a button and squish someone down three aisles!!
So I finally found the books I (think) I need. Next step was finding the exit. Which I did, eventually. Managed to find the circulation counter and check out my books. Hopefully the next time won't be quite the adventure. Though they are remodeling, so who knows.....
Birthday Weekend
So last Friday (Sept. 30) was my birthday. I celebrated by inviting my mom and Rebecca to visit me. They came up Thursday night and stayed until Sunday. We had a GREAT time. We went to the Shedd Aquarium, the Museum of Science and Industry and visited my aunt who lives on the southside of Chicago. We also went to a cemetery where my mom's grandparents and other relatives are buried. It was great and I did not want them to leave!!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Green space and parking!
I apologize for the separate posts today...I can't seem to get multiple pictures to post in one blog without looking stupid. So.....one picture per post!
This is the area behind and within LSTC. The building is actually built in a square with this green space in the middle. Off to the right is another wing and behind me in this picture is McCormick Presbyterian Seminary, that is attached to LSTC by two skyways. Underneath this green space is my car, which is kept nice and safe (and warm!) in the underground parking garage.
My apartment
To the left, you will see a picture of my apartment building. It's about a block and a half walk to get to school.
Lake Michigan and the skyline
Classes are still going...I am still reading virtually nonstop. But I do try to make sure and take some breaks every day. On the weekend, those breaks typically involve riding my bike to the lake. This picture was taken at one of my favorite spots to stop and read. Lake behind me, skyline in front of me....and books on my lap, of course!!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Class, Class, Class!
Class, class, class! That feels like all I'm doing from Monday - Thursday. And in a sense, it's true. I am taking five classes and two Growth In Faith activities. Growth in Faith are not classes, per se. They are more like workshops or book clubs or community-building activities. We have to do five of them throughout our seminary career. Just going to my required classes and events takes almost 20 hours of my week (4 of those are GIF). Then, the 'rule of thumb' is that we spend 1-2 hours outside of class for each one hour we spend in class. Sometimes it's more than that, sometimes it is less.
Greek: Coming into seminary, I was afraid of Greek. I mean - come on! It's Greek. Who wouldn't be scared of 'αβγδἕ'? I am pleased to say that I got an 87% on my first assignment. Hopefully that trend will continue.
Pentateuch & Wisdom Literature: We're learning about the first five books of the Bible, Job, Ecclesiastes and part of Proverbs.
Intro to Pastoral Care: Pretty self-explanatory what we're going to learn there.
Church History I: This class will cover the history of the Christian Church through the Reformation.
Christian Social Thought: This is the 'extra' class I am taking. Most people take four classes, I'm taking five. Which...there is a reason and a logic to my madness! We who are in the M.Div ELCA ordained track have to do a unit of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE). Most people do their CPE full-time during the summer after their first year. Chicago has a great program here called the Urban CPE Consortium. 14 agencies participate and we can do CPE through it. There's a variety of agencies, ranging from church social ministries to retirement homes to ministries dealing with the homeless, poor, or those living with HIV/AIDS and their loved ones. I want to do my CPE through this Consortium, but I do not want to stay in Chicago over the summer. I want to be home during the summer. So there is an option to do CPE during the January term and Spring semester. I'm going to try for that. However, if you do that, you cannot take a full load of classes. Thus, the extra one now to make up for the one I can't take next semester. See....it's logical!! I am also taking all of my classes Pass/Fail instead of a letter grade. That will help reduce the stress!
Some of my classes are graded on a Pass/Fail anyway. One of those is Intro to Pastoral Care. She is grading it on a P/F basis in the hopes that in doing so, we will be more open to 'risks' and sharing with her and our classmates. Today was one of those 'sharing' days. We had to draw pictures of our call story and then get in pairs and tell our story. The exercise was in how it felt to really listen (we were not allowed to ask questions) and how it felt to be the only one speaking. Even though 1) I can't draw and 2) I'm still not entirely comfortable talking about my call story to people outside of the 'need to know' circle (I'm still nervous about reactions), I rather enjoyed the exercise.
By the way...the Greek 'word' isn't a word at all...just the first letters of the Greek alphabet.
Greek: Coming into seminary, I was afraid of Greek. I mean - come on! It's Greek. Who wouldn't be scared of 'αβγδἕ'? I am pleased to say that I got an 87% on my first assignment. Hopefully that trend will continue.
Pentateuch & Wisdom Literature: We're learning about the first five books of the Bible, Job, Ecclesiastes and part of Proverbs.
Intro to Pastoral Care: Pretty self-explanatory what we're going to learn there.
Church History I: This class will cover the history of the Christian Church through the Reformation.
Christian Social Thought: This is the 'extra' class I am taking. Most people take four classes, I'm taking five. Which...there is a reason and a logic to my madness! We who are in the M.Div ELCA ordained track have to do a unit of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE). Most people do their CPE full-time during the summer after their first year. Chicago has a great program here called the Urban CPE Consortium. 14 agencies participate and we can do CPE through it. There's a variety of agencies, ranging from church social ministries to retirement homes to ministries dealing with the homeless, poor, or those living with HIV/AIDS and their loved ones. I want to do my CPE through this Consortium, but I do not want to stay in Chicago over the summer. I want to be home during the summer. So there is an option to do CPE during the January term and Spring semester. I'm going to try for that. However, if you do that, you cannot take a full load of classes. Thus, the extra one now to make up for the one I can't take next semester. See....it's logical!! I am also taking all of my classes Pass/Fail instead of a letter grade. That will help reduce the stress!
Some of my classes are graded on a Pass/Fail anyway. One of those is Intro to Pastoral Care. She is grading it on a P/F basis in the hopes that in doing so, we will be more open to 'risks' and sharing with her and our classmates. Today was one of those 'sharing' days. We had to draw pictures of our call story and then get in pairs and tell our story. The exercise was in how it felt to really listen (we were not allowed to ask questions) and how it felt to be the only one speaking. Even though 1) I can't draw and 2) I'm still not entirely comfortable talking about my call story to people outside of the 'need to know' circle (I'm still nervous about reactions), I rather enjoyed the exercise.
By the way...the Greek 'word' isn't a word at all...just the first letters of the Greek alphabet.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Thank You
So....I apparently never blogged about my last Sunday at St. John. August 21 was the Sunday before I left for school. I was Assisting Minister (yes, that was planned) at the early service. At the end of the service, after we prayed with those taking communion to the homebound, Pastor prayed for me and my seminary journey. He also prayed for Rebecca and I, as being apart is definitely not easy. I only teared up a few times. :-)
After second service, there was a Farewell and GodSpeed gathering for me. I had some of the best cheesecake and brownies I think I've ever had! It was so nice to see all of the people who came and chat with everyone. I am so blessed to be part of such a congregation. I was also presented with an oversized check, representing the donations that had been given towards my seminary tuition. I will not ever actually see that money, but I will see it as a payment on my seminary account.
St. John is a very generous congregation. And not just monetarily. I walked into the church in 2005 without a clue. And people talked to me. And asked about me. And cared about me. And let me be their Office Clerk and then their Interim Administrative Assistant. I've been blessed tremendously by the friendships I have made and the things I have learned. Pastor Young has been a great mentor to me, and I will take what he has taught me (and given me - yay books!) with me through my seminary career and beyond.
Thank you, members of St. John.
After second service, there was a Farewell and GodSpeed gathering for me. I had some of the best cheesecake and brownies I think I've ever had! It was so nice to see all of the people who came and chat with everyone. I am so blessed to be part of such a congregation. I was also presented with an oversized check, representing the donations that had been given towards my seminary tuition. I will not ever actually see that money, but I will see it as a payment on my seminary account.
St. John is a very generous congregation. And not just monetarily. I walked into the church in 2005 without a clue. And people talked to me. And asked about me. And cared about me. And let me be their Office Clerk and then their Interim Administrative Assistant. I've been blessed tremendously by the friendships I have made and the things I have learned. Pastor Young has been a great mentor to me, and I will take what he has taught me (and given me - yay books!) with me through my seminary career and beyond.
Thank you, members of St. John.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
September 1
So retreat and orientation is officially over. While it was going on, I never thought it would end. Now that it's over, I think the time flew by. This morning (as in 12:01 am), we were able to register online for classes. I stayed up and did so. I think along with everyone else. The server was really slow and it took me until about 12:30 to get registered. Some classmates told me it took them until 2am. I am registered for Greek, Pentateuch & Wisdom Literature, Church History I, Intro to Pastoral Care and for January (J-term) I am taking Building an Inclusive Church. I'm also trying to figure out my CPE unit. Most people take it full-time during the summer. I want to do it here in Chicago, but I want to be in Louisville during the summer. So...there is an option of doing it during the year. But if you do, then you can't take as many classes without special permission. And I have to make sure that what I want to do will count by my Committee. So....lots of info I need to find out fairly quickly. Because if I can only take two or three classes Spring term, I need to take 5 now. So...we'll see......
Monday, August 29, 2011
August 29, 2011
First thing this morning, we had a "Breakfast Scavenger Hunt" which was basically going around the main campus building and meeting the different people who work there. There was different food/drink at each.
Today's Hyde Park Immersion was not exactly what I was expecting. The program said that we would begin at 9:30 and then the next thing on the schedule was at 4. I wasn't sure I really wanted to be walking for almost 7 hours and wasn't quite sure how we could spend that much time just in Hyde Park. ANyway. The walking didn't start until 11:30, we had Bible study beforehand. We broke into 7 groups, and each group was to explore a specific section of Hyde park.
My group's area encompassed 50th and Drexel. Which is the intersection where Rev. Jesse Jackson's Rainbow PUSH Coalition is located. We went there and got a tour for about an hour and a half from the director of the athletic/academic program for youth. Then....we actually got to meet Rev. Jackson!! He came and talked to us briefly. They took pictures (with the cameras they had there....none of us students had a camera..) and we each got an autographed poster! What an unexpected surprise!!!!
Then we got to eat pizza and learn about security. The University of Chicago patrols our campus as well. They have 35 cars and their officers have the same training as Chicago police officers. He recommended that we call the University police instead of 911 if there is an emergency because they will get there MUCH faster than the Chicago police. We also all have whistles. If something happens, we can blow the whistle...other people will hear as well and they will blow theirs. On test runs, it took the UC police 84 seconds to respond to a whistle blow. There are also phones all over the place where we can pick up and they will know just where to come find us. They also have escort services who will make sure we get home/to our destination safely if we need them. He gave us safety tips, most of which can be summed up as PAYING ATTENTION.
Then the upperclassmen put on very funny skits for us. Then I came back to my apartment. Now I'm tired and ready for sleep. Tomorrow we get to learn about diversity training. Which I am finding quite interesting. There is LOTS of diversity in the Hyde Park neighborhood. There is even quite a bit of diversity in the LSTC staff/faculty. However, looking at this entering class.....there isn't much visible diversity at all. With very few exceptions, we all appear to be middle class white folk. The biggest diversity in our class is that about 7 of us are gay. But you can't really tell that by looking at us.
Today's Hyde Park Immersion was not exactly what I was expecting. The program said that we would begin at 9:30 and then the next thing on the schedule was at 4. I wasn't sure I really wanted to be walking for almost 7 hours and wasn't quite sure how we could spend that much time just in Hyde Park. ANyway. The walking didn't start until 11:30, we had Bible study beforehand. We broke into 7 groups, and each group was to explore a specific section of Hyde park.
My group's area encompassed 50th and Drexel. Which is the intersection where Rev. Jesse Jackson's Rainbow PUSH Coalition is located. We went there and got a tour for about an hour and a half from the director of the athletic/academic program for youth. Then....we actually got to meet Rev. Jackson!! He came and talked to us briefly. They took pictures (with the cameras they had there....none of us students had a camera..) and we each got an autographed poster! What an unexpected surprise!!!!
Then we got to eat pizza and learn about security. The University of Chicago patrols our campus as well. They have 35 cars and their officers have the same training as Chicago police officers. He recommended that we call the University police instead of 911 if there is an emergency because they will get there MUCH faster than the Chicago police. We also all have whistles. If something happens, we can blow the whistle...other people will hear as well and they will blow theirs. On test runs, it took the UC police 84 seconds to respond to a whistle blow. There are also phones all over the place where we can pick up and they will know just where to come find us. They also have escort services who will make sure we get home/to our destination safely if we need them. He gave us safety tips, most of which can be summed up as PAYING ATTENTION.
Then the upperclassmen put on very funny skits for us. Then I came back to my apartment. Now I'm tired and ready for sleep. Tomorrow we get to learn about diversity training. Which I am finding quite interesting. There is LOTS of diversity in the Hyde Park neighborhood. There is even quite a bit of diversity in the LSTC staff/faculty. However, looking at this entering class.....there isn't much visible diversity at all. With very few exceptions, we all appear to be middle class white folk. The biggest diversity in our class is that about 7 of us are gay. But you can't really tell that by looking at us.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
August 28, 2011
Two more days in Chicago. Yesterday, Rebecca and I had brunch with my cousin Michelle and her boyfriend. She lives here in Chicago. It was so great to see her and to know that she lives so close (about 20 minutes). She took us to a cafe that helps some of the homeless with job skills. And the food was GREAT!!
Then Rebecca had to go home. :( But she made it home safely. :)
Last night I was able to spend some time with my roommates. One is in the D. Min. program, the other Phd. They are from South Korea and India. We chatted for about an hour, just getting to know each other. It was great :)
This morning, I went to church with my roommates. The Vineyard Church of Hyde Park uses the LSTC chapel for its services. Then at 1:00 the "Transition to Seminary Retreat" began. We spent several hours learning about the different people who work at the seminary. We also spent about an hour and a half introducing ourselves to everyone there. Then we went to chapel and then there was a cookout. Tomorrow we are having a 'Breakfast Scavenger Hunt" and then walking around Hyde Park all day. They warned us to wear walking shoes and proper clothing for the weather. Oh, and to bring a Bible. There will be Bible study at some point.
Then Rebecca had to go home. :( But she made it home safely. :)
Last night I was able to spend some time with my roommates. One is in the D. Min. program, the other Phd. They are from South Korea and India. We chatted for about an hour, just getting to know each other. It was great :)
This morning, I went to church with my roommates. The Vineyard Church of Hyde Park uses the LSTC chapel for its services. Then at 1:00 the "Transition to Seminary Retreat" began. We spent several hours learning about the different people who work at the seminary. We also spent about an hour and a half introducing ourselves to everyone there. Then we went to chapel and then there was a cookout. Tomorrow we are having a 'Breakfast Scavenger Hunt" and then walking around Hyde Park all day. They warned us to wear walking shoes and proper clothing for the weather. Oh, and to bring a Bible. There will be Bible study at some point.
Friday, August 26, 2011
First Two Days in Chicago
Today is Friday, August 26, 4:30 pm Chicago time. Rebecca and I are sitting on my back porch, watching and listening to kids play on the playset in my courtyard (named "Creation" because of a mural that is painted on the fence hiding the trash cans). Oh, and watching someone dumpster dive. My first two days here have been good. I've had some stressful moments, but overall, it has been wonderful. We got here at about 2:30 on Wednesday. I stopped by my apartment first. My two roommates were here and we met them and brought my bike inside. Went over to the main building and got my keys and signed my lease. Paul, the groundsperson, gave us a quick tour. I learned where the mailroom is, where laundry room is (the machines do not take quarters...they are run with cards that you put money on....) and where the underground bike storage is. Then we moved my stuff in.
Wednesday night we had dinner with a couple that Rebecca knows here in Chicago at Leona's - it was about three blocks away and had a large assortment of foods. If you come visit me, that just might be where I take you to eat! (no...that doesn't mean I will pay for your food...sorry...seminary student on a tight budget here!) Anyway. I have leftovers. I love leftovers.
Thursday we started the day by getting my ID made. Met one of my fellow first-year classmates. He and his partner have been here for a few weeks and live a few buildings down. We then spent the rest of the day walking...walking...walking. We found Subway, CVS, Walgreens. Also found some local grocery stores. Where I had my first stressful moment. We went to a store called Treasure Island. All the produce was very reasonably priced (not that I eat much produce, but anyway..) And then we found the cheese. Kraft American singles. That I can get at Kroger for about $3.00. Yeah....$5.29!! Heart attack!! And THEN...I found frozen Michelina's meals...that are quite often on sale for less than $1.00. $3.85!!! I about passed out right there in the store. Yeah...budget just got tighter.
But on Thursday we also took a very long walk down to the lake, passing the Museum of Science and Industry. I knew there was a beach at the lake. I just wasn't expecting it to show up when it did. So, had I remembered to bring a beach towel or a swimsuit, I could totally go lay out on the beach. At least for a few weeks until it gets cold. But I didn't bring either of those things. So we kept walking and you can basically follow the shore. So..needless to say, I saw some really beautiful views. Found lots of places where I can bring a blanket and do homework on the lake. At least until it gets cold. ;)
Thursday evening I cooked Velveeta Shells and Cheese for dinner. My first ever attempt at cooking with a gas stove. I am pleased to say that the building did not catch on fire nor explode. After dinner, we walked some more and found the used book store.
Thursday night I had another money panic attack (surprise!) After seeing food prices and learning that parking is NOT $60/semester as I had been told last year, but rather $$225/year (plus $35 deposit). But we talked and I was better by bedtime.
Friday morning I went and bought a parking pass for the McCormick garage. I do not parallel park. I have horrendous depth perception when trying and it is better for all involved if I just avoid it. Plus I don't want my car to be buried in snow when the snowplows come through.
We then got in Rebecca's Explorer and explored while driving. We found the closest Target, about 4 miles away. To my great, great, great relief....Kraft cheese was on sale for $2.99 (for a large package and a deal with a free loaf of bread). Michelina's frozen meals were the normal Louisville price of $1.02. Rebecca said I looked much less like I'd seen a ghost after I saw the normal prices. So we bought some groceries and now I have (non-Ramen Noodle) food to eat.
This afternoon we hung up my pictures. And my St. John 'check' - that I am more grateful for than you can probably know. Tonight Rebecca is going to cook some steaks for dinner and apparently there's a potluck type gathering in my courtyard. So maybe I'll meet more of my neighbors. I know that another INKY Synod Candidate that I met at the retreat earlier in August lives here, as does the couple Rebecca and I met when we visited a year and a half ago. So I know I'm surrounded by good people!
Which reminds me. I don't think I ever blogged about the Candidacy Retreat that was held the first weekend in August at Waycross Conference Center in Morgantown, IN (just past Lutheran Hills Camp). It was two days of worshipping with, talking with, and hearing from other candidates, the Candidacy Committee, Bishop Gafkjen and Synod Staff. I met two other beginning LSTC students, a few who are upperclassmen and a few people who I met at Trinity Seminary when I visited there last year. It was a good weekend :)
So..that's my first two days in a nutshell. I think I am going to like Chicago, especially walking and sitting along the lake. At least until it gets cold. I don't like cold. I like snow even less. But I like the environment. I like the people I've met. I like that I don't have to parallel park to get a spot on campus.
Checck back soon for more updates. The "Transition to LSTC Retreat" starts this Sunday afternoon.
Wednesday night we had dinner with a couple that Rebecca knows here in Chicago at Leona's - it was about three blocks away and had a large assortment of foods. If you come visit me, that just might be where I take you to eat! (no...that doesn't mean I will pay for your food...sorry...seminary student on a tight budget here!) Anyway. I have leftovers. I love leftovers.
Thursday we started the day by getting my ID made. Met one of my fellow first-year classmates. He and his partner have been here for a few weeks and live a few buildings down. We then spent the rest of the day walking...walking...walking. We found Subway, CVS, Walgreens. Also found some local grocery stores. Where I had my first stressful moment. We went to a store called Treasure Island. All the produce was very reasonably priced (not that I eat much produce, but anyway..) And then we found the cheese. Kraft American singles. That I can get at Kroger for about $3.00. Yeah....$5.29!! Heart attack!! And THEN...I found frozen Michelina's meals...that are quite often on sale for less than $1.00. $3.85!!! I about passed out right there in the store. Yeah...budget just got tighter.
But on Thursday we also took a very long walk down to the lake, passing the Museum of Science and Industry. I knew there was a beach at the lake. I just wasn't expecting it to show up when it did. So, had I remembered to bring a beach towel or a swimsuit, I could totally go lay out on the beach. At least for a few weeks until it gets cold. But I didn't bring either of those things. So we kept walking and you can basically follow the shore. So..needless to say, I saw some really beautiful views. Found lots of places where I can bring a blanket and do homework on the lake. At least until it gets cold. ;)
Thursday evening I cooked Velveeta Shells and Cheese for dinner. My first ever attempt at cooking with a gas stove. I am pleased to say that the building did not catch on fire nor explode. After dinner, we walked some more and found the used book store.
Thursday night I had another money panic attack (surprise!) After seeing food prices and learning that parking is NOT $60/semester as I had been told last year, but rather $$225/year (plus $35 deposit). But we talked and I was better by bedtime.
Friday morning I went and bought a parking pass for the McCormick garage. I do not parallel park. I have horrendous depth perception when trying and it is better for all involved if I just avoid it. Plus I don't want my car to be buried in snow when the snowplows come through.
We then got in Rebecca's Explorer and explored while driving. We found the closest Target, about 4 miles away. To my great, great, great relief....Kraft cheese was on sale for $2.99 (for a large package and a deal with a free loaf of bread). Michelina's frozen meals were the normal Louisville price of $1.02. Rebecca said I looked much less like I'd seen a ghost after I saw the normal prices. So we bought some groceries and now I have (non-Ramen Noodle) food to eat.
This afternoon we hung up my pictures. And my St. John 'check' - that I am more grateful for than you can probably know. Tonight Rebecca is going to cook some steaks for dinner and apparently there's a potluck type gathering in my courtyard. So maybe I'll meet more of my neighbors. I know that another INKY Synod Candidate that I met at the retreat earlier in August lives here, as does the couple Rebecca and I met when we visited a year and a half ago. So I know I'm surrounded by good people!
Which reminds me. I don't think I ever blogged about the Candidacy Retreat that was held the first weekend in August at Waycross Conference Center in Morgantown, IN (just past Lutheran Hills Camp). It was two days of worshipping with, talking with, and hearing from other candidates, the Candidacy Committee, Bishop Gafkjen and Synod Staff. I met two other beginning LSTC students, a few who are upperclassmen and a few people who I met at Trinity Seminary when I visited there last year. It was a good weekend :)
So..that's my first two days in a nutshell. I think I am going to like Chicago, especially walking and sitting along the lake. At least until it gets cold. I don't like cold. I like snow even less. But I like the environment. I like the people I've met. I like that I don't have to parallel park to get a spot on campus.
Checck back soon for more updates. The "Transition to LSTC Retreat" starts this Sunday afternoon.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Yes, I have fears
I wrote this blog entry almost two months ago. I've gone back and forth numerous times as to if I should post it or not, for several reasons. 1)In it, I share some of my fears about seminary. I do not like to talk about my fears. I hate showing weakness or vulnerability - especially when I don't know who I'm showing them to. 2)My fears seem so petty when there are other people out there who have real problems -like not being able to meet their basic needs. 3)It's a bit contradictory. I talk about my fears and then state that I know they will get worked out. 4)It's sharing something 'real' about myself - and I'm not always so good at doing that.
After rereading it again, I have decided to post it. Some of my fears I talk about have lessened since writing it, but they haven't disappeared. Mostly, I've decided to post because this blog is called "Jen's Seminary Journey." If I really want to share the "Journey" with you, then that involves sharing more than just the required steps of the ELCA process and their outcome. Yes, this journey is about that. But the actual journey involves more than spelled out steps. It involves my feelings about the process, my joys, my hopes, and yes, my fears. If I want to share this journey with you, I can't pretend like these less visable steps are not happening.
So.....here goes....from about two months ago:
“We want to let you know what a pleasure it was reading your application. Your many gifts, intellectual curiosity, and enthusiasm make you an excellent candidate for seminary education. We at the Lutheran School of Theology at Chicago will be enriched by your presence here among us.”
Those are the opening words of a letter I received last week from LSTC. It went on to tell me that they have reviewed my financial aid application and I will receive a grant of $4,200 towards my tuition for my first year at seminary. That is approximately 1/3 of the entire tuition of $12,906
I must admit, I had mixed feelings when I received this letter. I am grateful that financial aid is available. There is no way I can go to seminary without it. And I do not know how much I was expecting. But I know my initial reaction was that $4,200is a long way from the $12,000 tuition and even farther from the actual cost of a year of seminary of nearly $30,000.
I freak out about money a lot. I feel I have been financially responsible all of my adult life (and even before!) and I am terrified of messing that up. The only debts I personally have are for my house and my previous college and post-college educations. I do not live paycheck to paycheck as many do. I have some left over at the end of the month. I have emergency funds and retirement accounts. I’ve spent hours with online calculators trying to figure out the exact amount I need to pay each month in order to save the most on student loan interest.
But I am scared that when I go to school, things will change. I’ve been in the workforce long enough to know that I won’t be able to go without working. As it is, in the 14 years I have been a member of the workforce, less than 12 months of that were spent only working one job. The rest of the time, I’ve had at least two jobs, and sometimes three. So I will still work. But it’s going to be a part-time job because my main focus HAS to be my education and my field placement and ministry opportunities.
I wasn’t afraid of student loan debt when I was in college. My parents paid part of my tuition, I paid some, I got some financial aid, and the rest was federal loans. When I got out, I had less than the average amount and with consolidating them, I got a killer interest rate ($1.875% - I have no fantasies of ever seeing THAT again!). Loans is what you did. Though I do know some people who escaped Hanover with $0 due in repayment.
When I got my Certificate at Sullivan University, they didn’t even talk to me about financial aid. Because I was not a Kentucky resident at the time, they immediately told me I didn’t qualify for any of it. I didn’t know any better, and I knew that I wouldn’t qualify for most scholarships because of the type of program it was (something between undergrad and graduate). They told me I could get everything paid for with loans. Which I did. In so doing, I doubled the student loan debt that I had. (go figure that one out – four years of a small liberal arts college equals the same debt load of 9 months at Sullivan.....the difference between not-for profit and for-profit, I guess)
Anyway. I pay my loan bills each month and slowly but surely, they are going down. So is my mortgage (even slower!!) When I go to seminary, Hanover loans and Sullivan loans will go into deferment. My interest rates are so low, that it isn’t going to cost me a whole lot to do that. And, if I pay the interest each year, I’ll keep the total lower and will still get the tax deduction. But I am afraid of the possibility of doubling, tripling or even quadrupling the amount of student loan debt I will have by the time I get through.
I know, down to the depths of my soul that God will provide. He has proven that to me over and over again. The fact that I work at St. John is verification of that. The night before I was offered this job, I had a mini panic attack over finances. I work part-time at Target as an Early Morning Flow Team Member. I started that in October. The plan was for me to have a full-time job at a law office or somewhere else before my seasonal employment ran out. That didn’t happen and I was blessed to be kept on permanently. However, hours at retail stores are plentiful in the holiday season….and not so much afterwards. Christmas was over and my 30+ hours a week went down to 18...and a week later down to 13.5. The day after Christmas (Sunday) I sat down with all of my numbers and figured out that 18 hours was not going to cut it. Not even close. I went into panic mode, chastising myself for employment choices I had made, and preparing myself to go even more into super “apply for every job that is even remotely an option” mode.
And that night, as I was lying in bed, I had a big ‘ol talk with God. Basically, I told him that I didn’t know what to do. That I had applied for every job I could find and I had gotten….NOWHERE. That I had done what I knew to do. I was crying my eyes out to God and I simply said “I don’t know what else to do. I give this to you. You can fix it. Fix it!” I’m pretty sure I added a ‘please,’ but I literally threw my hands in the air and gave it to him.
That doesn’t mean I felt any better. The next day at Target (I work the 4AM shift) I was not in a good mood. From my perspective, nothing had changed. But mine wasn’t the only perspective. Unbeknownst to me, leaders and members of my congregation were also struggling. They had spent weeks going over applications, interviewing perspective candidates and meeting together to figure out who was going to be the next Administrative Assistant. They had chosen one whom they thought was a good fit and who would do the job well. She, after training for three days, decided that it wasn’t the job for her and had quit – the day after Christmas.
So when I walked into St. John that Monday after my shift, I was in need of employment and my beloved church was in need of an Administrative Assistant. God had not only provided me (and the church), but he had done so very efficiently!
So I KNOW that if I am really supposed to go this route (and I believe with all my heart that I am), God will make it happen. God has placed me in a family and community of support. But right now, I don’t see that. Right now, all I see is a number that I will owe that is significantly more than my bank accounts hold.
And that is part of what makes me human. And what makes me sinful. I know that God will provide. I don’t know how, but I know he will. That doesn’t stop me from doubting, worrying and wanting to somehow control it myself.. Jesus’ words in Matthew 6 are a great comfort to me: “do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink...Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life...that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry...your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
God tells us not to worry about the future. That if he cares for tiny birds and grass, that he will also care for us, and even more so. But I still struggle. I struggle to give up control. I struggle to admit that I can’t do everything myself. I struggle to let go of things. I struggle to let others do things that I think I should do myself. I struggle to let others take care of me. I struggle to “Let go and let God” even though I know that if I do that, everything will work out. God wants to take care of me. In my defiance and sinfulness, I tend to resist him (either intentionally or unintentionally) until, in desperation, I cry out to him to “Fix it!” I am working on trying to give it up to him before it gets to that point. I think he would appreciate it and I know I would sleep better.
After rereading it again, I have decided to post it. Some of my fears I talk about have lessened since writing it, but they haven't disappeared. Mostly, I've decided to post because this blog is called "Jen's Seminary Journey." If I really want to share the "Journey" with you, then that involves sharing more than just the required steps of the ELCA process and their outcome. Yes, this journey is about that. But the actual journey involves more than spelled out steps. It involves my feelings about the process, my joys, my hopes, and yes, my fears. If I want to share this journey with you, I can't pretend like these less visable steps are not happening.
So.....here goes....from about two months ago:
“We want to let you know what a pleasure it was reading your application. Your many gifts, intellectual curiosity, and enthusiasm make you an excellent candidate for seminary education. We at the Lutheran School of Theology at Chicago will be enriched by your presence here among us.”
Those are the opening words of a letter I received last week from LSTC. It went on to tell me that they have reviewed my financial aid application and I will receive a grant of $4,200 towards my tuition for my first year at seminary. That is approximately 1/3 of the entire tuition of $12,906
I must admit, I had mixed feelings when I received this letter. I am grateful that financial aid is available. There is no way I can go to seminary without it. And I do not know how much I was expecting. But I know my initial reaction was that $4,200is a long way from the $12,000 tuition and even farther from the actual cost of a year of seminary of nearly $30,000.
I freak out about money a lot. I feel I have been financially responsible all of my adult life (and even before!) and I am terrified of messing that up. The only debts I personally have are for my house and my previous college and post-college educations. I do not live paycheck to paycheck as many do. I have some left over at the end of the month. I have emergency funds and retirement accounts. I’ve spent hours with online calculators trying to figure out the exact amount I need to pay each month in order to save the most on student loan interest.
But I am scared that when I go to school, things will change. I’ve been in the workforce long enough to know that I won’t be able to go without working. As it is, in the 14 years I have been a member of the workforce, less than 12 months of that were spent only working one job. The rest of the time, I’ve had at least two jobs, and sometimes three. So I will still work. But it’s going to be a part-time job because my main focus HAS to be my education and my field placement and ministry opportunities.
I wasn’t afraid of student loan debt when I was in college. My parents paid part of my tuition, I paid some, I got some financial aid, and the rest was federal loans. When I got out, I had less than the average amount and with consolidating them, I got a killer interest rate ($1.875% - I have no fantasies of ever seeing THAT again!). Loans is what you did. Though I do know some people who escaped Hanover with $0 due in repayment.
When I got my Certificate at Sullivan University, they didn’t even talk to me about financial aid. Because I was not a Kentucky resident at the time, they immediately told me I didn’t qualify for any of it. I didn’t know any better, and I knew that I wouldn’t qualify for most scholarships because of the type of program it was (something between undergrad and graduate). They told me I could get everything paid for with loans. Which I did. In so doing, I doubled the student loan debt that I had. (go figure that one out – four years of a small liberal arts college equals the same debt load of 9 months at Sullivan.....the difference between not-for profit and for-profit, I guess)
Anyway. I pay my loan bills each month and slowly but surely, they are going down. So is my mortgage (even slower!!) When I go to seminary, Hanover loans and Sullivan loans will go into deferment. My interest rates are so low, that it isn’t going to cost me a whole lot to do that. And, if I pay the interest each year, I’ll keep the total lower and will still get the tax deduction. But I am afraid of the possibility of doubling, tripling or even quadrupling the amount of student loan debt I will have by the time I get through.
I know, down to the depths of my soul that God will provide. He has proven that to me over and over again. The fact that I work at St. John is verification of that. The night before I was offered this job, I had a mini panic attack over finances. I work part-time at Target as an Early Morning Flow Team Member. I started that in October. The plan was for me to have a full-time job at a law office or somewhere else before my seasonal employment ran out. That didn’t happen and I was blessed to be kept on permanently. However, hours at retail stores are plentiful in the holiday season….and not so much afterwards. Christmas was over and my 30+ hours a week went down to 18...and a week later down to 13.5. The day after Christmas (Sunday) I sat down with all of my numbers and figured out that 18 hours was not going to cut it. Not even close. I went into panic mode, chastising myself for employment choices I had made, and preparing myself to go even more into super “apply for every job that is even remotely an option” mode.
And that night, as I was lying in bed, I had a big ‘ol talk with God. Basically, I told him that I didn’t know what to do. That I had applied for every job I could find and I had gotten….NOWHERE. That I had done what I knew to do. I was crying my eyes out to God and I simply said “I don’t know what else to do. I give this to you. You can fix it. Fix it!” I’m pretty sure I added a ‘please,’ but I literally threw my hands in the air and gave it to him.
That doesn’t mean I felt any better. The next day at Target (I work the 4AM shift) I was not in a good mood. From my perspective, nothing had changed. But mine wasn’t the only perspective. Unbeknownst to me, leaders and members of my congregation were also struggling. They had spent weeks going over applications, interviewing perspective candidates and meeting together to figure out who was going to be the next Administrative Assistant. They had chosen one whom they thought was a good fit and who would do the job well. She, after training for three days, decided that it wasn’t the job for her and had quit – the day after Christmas.
So when I walked into St. John that Monday after my shift, I was in need of employment and my beloved church was in need of an Administrative Assistant. God had not only provided me (and the church), but he had done so very efficiently!
So I KNOW that if I am really supposed to go this route (and I believe with all my heart that I am), God will make it happen. God has placed me in a family and community of support. But right now, I don’t see that. Right now, all I see is a number that I will owe that is significantly more than my bank accounts hold.
And that is part of what makes me human. And what makes me sinful. I know that God will provide. I don’t know how, but I know he will. That doesn’t stop me from doubting, worrying and wanting to somehow control it myself.. Jesus’ words in Matthew 6 are a great comfort to me: “do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink...Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life...that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry...your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
God tells us not to worry about the future. That if he cares for tiny birds and grass, that he will also care for us, and even more so. But I still struggle. I struggle to give up control. I struggle to admit that I can’t do everything myself. I struggle to let go of things. I struggle to let others do things that I think I should do myself. I struggle to let others take care of me. I struggle to “Let go and let God” even though I know that if I do that, everything will work out. God wants to take care of me. In my defiance and sinfulness, I tend to resist him (either intentionally or unintentionally) until, in desperation, I cry out to him to “Fix it!” I am working on trying to give it up to him before it gets to that point. I think he would appreciate it and I know I would sleep better.
Monday, February 28, 2011
February 28, 2011
This past Saturday, February 26, was my Entrance Panel with three members of the Candidacy Committee. It was going to be scheduled for sometime in April, but the Committee decided to do them a bit differently this time and have them done before their April meeting instead of coinciding with. Anyway, Saturday was the day.
My meeting was in Seymour (my hometown, of all places!) at St. Paul-Borchers. I'd never been there before. It's a very nice church. I met with the Chair of the Committee, a pastor from Indianapolis, and a retired pastor. The interview itself was supposed to last about an hour. Well, mine lasted about an hour and a half. It consisted mainly of me telling my story. My jobs, my family, my church life. And yes, I was just a wee bit nervous. They assured me that it was fine (and quite normal!) to be such.
They then sent me out into the lobby while they wrote up their recommendation and about 1/2 hour later, called me back in to discuss it with me. They also allowed Rebecca to come in with me.
Their recommendation is that I be entranced. They gave me a few suggestions on things I can do, starting now, to prepare myself for this coming fall and beyond.
Overall, I think it went well. I will hear the final decision of the entire committee in early May.
My meeting was in Seymour (my hometown, of all places!) at St. Paul-Borchers. I'd never been there before. It's a very nice church. I met with the Chair of the Committee, a pastor from Indianapolis, and a retired pastor. The interview itself was supposed to last about an hour. Well, mine lasted about an hour and a half. It consisted mainly of me telling my story. My jobs, my family, my church life. And yes, I was just a wee bit nervous. They assured me that it was fine (and quite normal!) to be such.
They then sent me out into the lobby while they wrote up their recommendation and about 1/2 hour later, called me back in to discuss it with me. They also allowed Rebecca to come in with me.
Their recommendation is that I be entranced. They gave me a few suggestions on things I can do, starting now, to prepare myself for this coming fall and beyond.
Overall, I think it went well. I will hear the final decision of the entire committee in early May.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
January 13, 2011
Wow. It's been a long time since I've updated! This entry isn't going to be solely about my seminary journey. But I think everything that I'm going to include here is related. God works in so many ways, and something that seems completely unrelated to my journey may just be the cause of another step.
After working with the new online forms for about a week and emailing Pastor Wood several times, I finally managed to fill out the online forms and get them to actually send. I think there are some kinks that still need to be worked out!!
I thought I was going to have my Entrance Panel in November. Or not. Pastor Wood said that they try to do all of the Panels in April. So I'm waiting to hear from him on when that will be.
In September, I turned 30. I celebrated by going to Las Vegas in October with a bunch of friends and family. Had a blast! (Ok...so this one probably has nothing whatsoever to do with my seminary journey).
In October, I also quit my jobs at A+ Paper Shredding and Empire Tax Service and went to work at Target as a Seasonal Early Morning Flow Team Member. I also found out that since Carolyn, St. John's Administrative Assistant of 27 years, was retiring, that my job as Office Clerk was going to be gone. Carolyn worked 20 hours a week and I worked about 10 (well, usually less than that). Her replacement is going to work 30 hours a week and do both jobs.
I spent the next six weeks applying for any and every job I could find that was even remotely interesting and applicable. No legitimate responses. Whatsoever. Got some spam responses, though. And a few that told me I would be PERFECT for their opening......for an insurance salesperson! Any of you who know me will know how well I would perform at THAT job!!
Sometime in December, Forest told me that they had had a Team Lead Meeting and they were happy with me as an employee and would I like to stay on past Seasonal? I never would have thought I would be so relieved! I wasn't going to be unemployed come January!!
St. John hired a new Administrative Assistant and she trained with Carolyn the three days before Christmas.
So Christmas came. I went to Seymour and spent a few days with the family. It was a good time. :D
So then my next Target schedule is posted. I had been getting 30+ hours/week. Now I'm scheduled for 18!! Sunday night is spent working with my numbers...and coming to the realization that 18 hours at my Target salary just isn't going to be enough! Panic attack time!
I stop at church after Target on the 27th because I hadn't put the reminders out for the new girl to mail. Pastor is sitting in the office. I see no white car in the parking lot that belongs to the new girl. "Are you alone?" I ask. He responds that the new girl decided that the job wasn't for her.
So, after talking a while, Pastor asked me if I would be interested in taking the job, on an Interim basis, until I go to school in the fall. I went home, thought about it, prayed about it, called Rebecca and talked about it. Called him that evening and said I would. It was approved at the Council meeting that Tuesday. So the rest of that week, I worked at church a bit after Target, and I started the church job full time (well, 6 hours/day) after the new year. (no, I haven't given up Target, nor do I intend to).
Of course, on the Monday and Tuesday of my new job, I got not one, not two, but THREE people responding to job ads I had applied to. God does play jokes on us sometimes, doesn't he?
After working with the new online forms for about a week and emailing Pastor Wood several times, I finally managed to fill out the online forms and get them to actually send. I think there are some kinks that still need to be worked out!!
I thought I was going to have my Entrance Panel in November. Or not. Pastor Wood said that they try to do all of the Panels in April. So I'm waiting to hear from him on when that will be.
In September, I turned 30. I celebrated by going to Las Vegas in October with a bunch of friends and family. Had a blast! (Ok...so this one probably has nothing whatsoever to do with my seminary journey).
In October, I also quit my jobs at A+ Paper Shredding and Empire Tax Service and went to work at Target as a Seasonal Early Morning Flow Team Member. I also found out that since Carolyn, St. John's Administrative Assistant of 27 years, was retiring, that my job as Office Clerk was going to be gone. Carolyn worked 20 hours a week and I worked about 10 (well, usually less than that). Her replacement is going to work 30 hours a week and do both jobs.
I spent the next six weeks applying for any and every job I could find that was even remotely interesting and applicable. No legitimate responses. Whatsoever. Got some spam responses, though. And a few that told me I would be PERFECT for their opening......for an insurance salesperson! Any of you who know me will know how well I would perform at THAT job!!
Sometime in December, Forest told me that they had had a Team Lead Meeting and they were happy with me as an employee and would I like to stay on past Seasonal? I never would have thought I would be so relieved! I wasn't going to be unemployed come January!!
St. John hired a new Administrative Assistant and she trained with Carolyn the three days before Christmas.
So Christmas came. I went to Seymour and spent a few days with the family. It was a good time. :D
So then my next Target schedule is posted. I had been getting 30+ hours/week. Now I'm scheduled for 18!! Sunday night is spent working with my numbers...and coming to the realization that 18 hours at my Target salary just isn't going to be enough! Panic attack time!
I stop at church after Target on the 27th because I hadn't put the reminders out for the new girl to mail. Pastor is sitting in the office. I see no white car in the parking lot that belongs to the new girl. "Are you alone?" I ask. He responds that the new girl decided that the job wasn't for her.
So, after talking a while, Pastor asked me if I would be interested in taking the job, on an Interim basis, until I go to school in the fall. I went home, thought about it, prayed about it, called Rebecca and talked about it. Called him that evening and said I would. It was approved at the Council meeting that Tuesday. So the rest of that week, I worked at church a bit after Target, and I started the church job full time (well, 6 hours/day) after the new year. (no, I haven't given up Target, nor do I intend to).
Of course, on the Monday and Tuesday of my new job, I got not one, not two, but THREE people responding to job ads I had applied to. God does play jokes on us sometimes, doesn't he?
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