Yesterday was January 30. First day of the Spring Semester at LSTC. Because of CPE, I had to switch my classes around a bit. I did not take a J-Term and focused solely on CPE in January. This semester, I am taking two classroom classes, Lutheran Confessional Heritage and Worship. I am also taking two online classes, Church History II and Life and Letters of Paul. So I will be in class for 6 hours a week, 3 on Monday, 3 on Wednesday. So I am going to have to make up that time that I will miss in CPE. I have already made up some of it by participating in the Tower move and the Memorial service, so hopefully, I can make up all the rest by doing one extra oncall.
Online classes do not require being in class at any specific time. However, it appears that they are actually going to be more work than classes in a classroom. For both of my online classes, We have loads of reading each week. Then we are divided into groups and we each need to answer a specific question. Then we all have to respond to each other's answers. In Paul, we also have to do a weekly reflection and a weekly Greek translation (my favorite.......NOT). In history, we also have two tests, a research paper, and three (two??) 5 page reflections.
I feel that I am going to be really tired up until March 15.
Yesterday I also had my second 24-hour oncall at the hospital. Well, slightly shorter than 24, since I had class in the AM. Anyway. It was a pretty quiet oncall. Though I spent a lot of time with one particular family who had just had a 24 week baby. I baptized that baby last night, in her incubator with LOTS of her family. My first baptism! It went just fine and it was an honor to be there.
It was quiet the rest of the night and in the AM, I got a page for someone who wanted to see me before his procedure. Often people will just want the chaplain to come and pray before surgery. I walked into the guy's room and he looks at me and says "You're not a Catholic priest!!" I looked at him and said "No, I'm not." Well, he didn't want me. He wanted a Catholic priest. So I told him there would be one here later today and he said that he would wait for him. Ok.
Mike and I then had to do Verbatims today, which are written transcripts and analysis of a conversation we have had with a patient. Mike's birthday was today, so he, Nick and I ate lunch together before I went home. And promptly crashed for three hours.
While I know the next six weeks will fly by because I will be so busy, I also think they are going to be incredibly exhausting. Anyone want to send me on vacation to a nice relaxing beach in early April??? :-)
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Delivering Bad News
So we did something fun today in CPE. At least I thought it was fun - "Delivering Bad News." Now, I get it...that does not sound like fun. But it is actually something that we, as chaplains at Rush, do to help medical students/residents. They are given a scenario about a patient who has died. It is their job to inform the family of this, and also to ask the family if they want an autopsy done. It is our job to pretend to be that family.
So we do this in pairs. Two chaplain interns, one med student. The med students do not know we are chaplains - they think we are just volunteers who came in to do this. So they come into the room and proceed to tell us that our loved one has died. We are to react in any way we want. In one scenario, I was basically silent. The next I was angry. In one, I tried to play someone who almost had a psychotic break with the news.
This is the first time most (if not all) of these med students have ever had to do this. We, as chaplains, are at every death at the hospital and have seen the vast array of reactions that people can have upon hearing the news.
After about 10 minutes, we called the scene off and told the med students who we really were. We had an evaluation sheet to fill out and we just spent a few minutes talking to them about what was good, what could be improved upon, etc.
I believe another "Delivering Bad News" is scheduled for February 15. I'm kind of excited. :-)
Oh, and at least one med student told us that if the chaplaincy thing doesn't work out, we could be actors instead. ;-)
So we do this in pairs. Two chaplain interns, one med student. The med students do not know we are chaplains - they think we are just volunteers who came in to do this. So they come into the room and proceed to tell us that our loved one has died. We are to react in any way we want. In one scenario, I was basically silent. The next I was angry. In one, I tried to play someone who almost had a psychotic break with the news.
This is the first time most (if not all) of these med students have ever had to do this. We, as chaplains, are at every death at the hospital and have seen the vast array of reactions that people can have upon hearing the news.
After about 10 minutes, we called the scene off and told the med students who we really were. We had an evaluation sheet to fill out and we just spent a few minutes talking to them about what was good, what could be improved upon, etc.
I believe another "Delivering Bad News" is scheduled for February 15. I'm kind of excited. :-)
Oh, and at least one med student told us that if the chaplaincy thing doesn't work out, we could be actors instead. ;-)
Friday, January 20, 2012
First Big Snow in Chicago
Today it snowed in Chicago. Probably 6+ inches. It started about 11 and ended about 6. I, of course, was at the hospital for CPE today. Normally I leave there at 5:00 and get back to campus by 5:30. Today I left at 3:30. And got to campus at 5:30.
This is not the first snow of the year. About a week ago, it also snowed about an inch. Maybe 2. It took me about 50 minutes to get to campus.
I came to Chicago with the idea that well, Chicago knows about snow. They know how to get rid of it quickly. They know how to drive in it.
Yeah....no....that idea has not played out in real experience. Last week, with the inch of snow, people were driving 10 on the interstate. I am afraid of driving in snow and I thought that was ridiculous.
Today, we were driving about 2.5 miles per hour. On the interstate. I saw absolutely no snowplows whatsoever. Unless you count the two that were sitting on an overpass. Which I don't. Because they were....sitting.
Chicago drivers appear to be nosmarter or more competent in driving in snow than the typical Louisvillian.
At least in Louisville, there are an abundance of snowplows, trucks with plows, etc. They brine the road before the nasty comes. They dump salt. Here, I have noticed salt in some places, sidewalks, etc. Mostly in giant piles that are just as slippery as snow would be.
I could accept this driving in the snow scenario if I were speaking of side streets and less traveled routes in the Chicagoland area. But I drive 9.6 miles to Rush. At least 7 of those are interstate. And not just one interstate. No, I'm talking about being on three different interstates, plus Lake Shore Drive (a very busy highway). No sign of snowplows anywhere.
And another thing. I understand that you cannot see the lines on the road. But there was a point today where there were eight lanes of traffic. I'm pretty sure that the road only actually has four and an exit. Two lanes suddenly turned into one. Then one suddenly turned into two. What the heck?!?!?!
This is not the first snow of the year. About a week ago, it also snowed about an inch. Maybe 2. It took me about 50 minutes to get to campus.
I came to Chicago with the idea that well, Chicago knows about snow. They know how to get rid of it quickly. They know how to drive in it.
Yeah....no....that idea has not played out in real experience. Last week, with the inch of snow, people were driving 10 on the interstate. I am afraid of driving in snow and I thought that was ridiculous.
Today, we were driving about 2.5 miles per hour. On the interstate. I saw absolutely no snowplows whatsoever. Unless you count the two that were sitting on an overpass. Which I don't. Because they were....sitting.
Chicago drivers appear to be nosmarter or more competent in driving in snow than the typical Louisvillian.
At least in Louisville, there are an abundance of snowplows, trucks with plows, etc. They brine the road before the nasty comes. They dump salt. Here, I have noticed salt in some places, sidewalks, etc. Mostly in giant piles that are just as slippery as snow would be.
I could accept this driving in the snow scenario if I were speaking of side streets and less traveled routes in the Chicagoland area. But I drive 9.6 miles to Rush. At least 7 of those are interstate. And not just one interstate. No, I'm talking about being on three different interstates, plus Lake Shore Drive (a very busy highway). No sign of snowplows anywhere.
And another thing. I understand that you cannot see the lines on the road. But there was a point today where there were eight lanes of traffic. I'm pretty sure that the road only actually has four and an exit. Two lanes suddenly turned into one. Then one suddenly turned into two. What the heck?!?!?!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Reflections on My First Two Weeks at Rush
Challenge. Frustration. Learning. Friends. Reflection. Analysis. Fear. Anxiety. Tears. Laughs. Fatigue. Goals. Surprise.
Those are just a few of the words I would use to describe my first two weeks of my 11-week stint as a hospital chaplain. I really like everyone I have met there. The RHHV (Religion, Health and Human Values) department is made up of a wonderful group of staff, residents, interns, externs and one volunteer (who had previously been an intern).
My cohort/peer group of interns is great. Mike, Nick and I seem to work well together and get along just fine. Mary is our supervisor and she has been great as well.
However, this experience has not come without its challenges for me. Most of this is not going to be news to you, but just to highlight some aspects:
1) I am a very introverted person. It is not really in my nature to just walk up to someone and start talking to them. We are required to do this, pretty much on a daily basis when we are on our units. This is affectionately known as "Cold Calling" We know nothing about a patient (well, I try to at least look up their name and gender), and we go in their room to talk to them. This is a challenge for me because, even when the visits go really well, it is hard to make that first step and conversing with someone I do not know requires a lot of energy.
2) I do not think I am called to hospital chaplaincy. If you have been following previous posts, you'll remember that my original plan for CPE was to do it through the social service agencies of the Urban CPE Consortium. That kind of ministry is more up my ally. But, alas, a hospital is where I ended up.
3) I am a pretty private person and do not normally share personal things unless and until I have built a relationship with someone. That protectiveness is out the window when you're doing CPE. The four of us (three interns and supervisor) meet multiple times a week to talk. Reflect. Talk about how we're doing. How we're feeling. Sometimes we type out and analyze a conversation we have had with a patient (these are called Verbatims) and we discuss them in group. Though it is clear that if there is something we do not want to discuss, we can always say so, the expectation is that in most cases, we will talk and discuss.
4) We have to set goals. I've never really worked anywhere where goals were actually discussed, agreed upon, and then continually discussed to see how we are progressing towards them. Our formal goals are due next week and we also need to have some idea of what we will do to try to reach the goals.
5) One of my goals is going to be simply making it through the unit. That got a laugh from my entire group yesterday. Mary said that was too broad...but after discussing it, she said she would accept it as a goal, if I make it more specific and concrete. I don't really doubt that I will make it through the unit. I am fairly stubborn and usually finish what I start. However, sometimes I struggle because I am not a fan of this type of ministry and sometimes I wonder if it is worth it. Of course, if I stay in seminary and continue in ELCA ordination, CPE will be required. Though sometimes I also question that path, I don't want to have to revisit CPE again. So, with about 85% certaintly, I will say I will finish the unit.
6) I often doubt my abilities and have really low self-confidence and self-esteem. I often doubt that I will be able to help anyone. I panic over not knowing how to extemporaneously pray with people. I fear making a person feel worse instead of better. I fear not knowing how to interact with patients/families in the moment.
I am trying to get better, especially with #6. On my first on-call, I was a nervous wreck all day. I think I probably had some people legitimately worried that I would make it through, though they continued to tell me I would. I'm pretty sure my supervisor expected at least one panicked phone call. But I never called her. Never even thought about it. I was terrified of the pager going off. When it did go off, my initial reaction was "Oh, shit!" (which, by the way, I am not the only one who has that reaction). But when I was actually with patients (or in the case of the deaths, families), I was completely composed. I prayed with people. I have no idea what I said. The words were not mine. But the people thanked me and it actually did seem to help. It was almost as if someone else were doing all of the action. Maybe it was. Maybe God took complete control of my body.
The next day at on-call report, I told about my evening. I was told later by someone that I was like a completely different person then than I had been the day before. He expected me to have fallen apart, and I read the report with confidence and it appeared that I had been confident through the on-call.
So maybe I am growing. However, none of this in any way means I am looking forward to the next on-call. I am sure I will be a nervous wreck again.
Those are just a few of the words I would use to describe my first two weeks of my 11-week stint as a hospital chaplain. I really like everyone I have met there. The RHHV (Religion, Health and Human Values) department is made up of a wonderful group of staff, residents, interns, externs and one volunteer (who had previously been an intern).
My cohort/peer group of interns is great. Mike, Nick and I seem to work well together and get along just fine. Mary is our supervisor and she has been great as well.
However, this experience has not come without its challenges for me. Most of this is not going to be news to you, but just to highlight some aspects:
1) I am a very introverted person. It is not really in my nature to just walk up to someone and start talking to them. We are required to do this, pretty much on a daily basis when we are on our units. This is affectionately known as "Cold Calling" We know nothing about a patient (well, I try to at least look up their name and gender), and we go in their room to talk to them. This is a challenge for me because, even when the visits go really well, it is hard to make that first step and conversing with someone I do not know requires a lot of energy.
2) I do not think I am called to hospital chaplaincy. If you have been following previous posts, you'll remember that my original plan for CPE was to do it through the social service agencies of the Urban CPE Consortium. That kind of ministry is more up my ally. But, alas, a hospital is where I ended up.
3) I am a pretty private person and do not normally share personal things unless and until I have built a relationship with someone. That protectiveness is out the window when you're doing CPE. The four of us (three interns and supervisor) meet multiple times a week to talk. Reflect. Talk about how we're doing. How we're feeling. Sometimes we type out and analyze a conversation we have had with a patient (these are called Verbatims) and we discuss them in group. Though it is clear that if there is something we do not want to discuss, we can always say so, the expectation is that in most cases, we will talk and discuss.
4) We have to set goals. I've never really worked anywhere where goals were actually discussed, agreed upon, and then continually discussed to see how we are progressing towards them. Our formal goals are due next week and we also need to have some idea of what we will do to try to reach the goals.
5) One of my goals is going to be simply making it through the unit. That got a laugh from my entire group yesterday. Mary said that was too broad...but after discussing it, she said she would accept it as a goal, if I make it more specific and concrete. I don't really doubt that I will make it through the unit. I am fairly stubborn and usually finish what I start. However, sometimes I struggle because I am not a fan of this type of ministry and sometimes I wonder if it is worth it. Of course, if I stay in seminary and continue in ELCA ordination, CPE will be required. Though sometimes I also question that path, I don't want to have to revisit CPE again. So, with about 85% certaintly, I will say I will finish the unit.
6) I often doubt my abilities and have really low self-confidence and self-esteem. I often doubt that I will be able to help anyone. I panic over not knowing how to extemporaneously pray with people. I fear making a person feel worse instead of better. I fear not knowing how to interact with patients/families in the moment.
I am trying to get better, especially with #6. On my first on-call, I was a nervous wreck all day. I think I probably had some people legitimately worried that I would make it through, though they continued to tell me I would. I'm pretty sure my supervisor expected at least one panicked phone call. But I never called her. Never even thought about it. I was terrified of the pager going off. When it did go off, my initial reaction was "Oh, shit!" (which, by the way, I am not the only one who has that reaction). But when I was actually with patients (or in the case of the deaths, families), I was completely composed. I prayed with people. I have no idea what I said. The words were not mine. But the people thanked me and it actually did seem to help. It was almost as if someone else were doing all of the action. Maybe it was. Maybe God took complete control of my body.
The next day at on-call report, I told about my evening. I was told later by someone that I was like a completely different person then than I had been the day before. He expected me to have fallen apart, and I read the report with confidence and it appeared that I had been confident through the on-call.
So maybe I am growing. However, none of this in any way means I am looking forward to the next on-call. I am sure I will be a nervous wreck again.
On-Call #1
This past Monday was my first solo on-call. That meant that I had the on-call pager for a 24 hour period (well, it was actually about 20 hours because in the morning, we still had some orientation stuff to do). But by about 6pm, no other chaplains were in the hospital (Rush has over 600 beds). Needless to say, I was a little anxious and totally freaked out. Though I did have my supervisor's phone numbers and she told me it was perfectly fine to call.
Page went off for the first time not five minutes after I got it. Went and spoke to a patient and family about a Durable Power of Attorney. Any DPOA requests are handled by a chaplain.
Shortly thereafter, I was paged to sit in on a meeting with a family about removing life support from their loved one.
Then I was paged for a regular patient visit.
I got several other pages that I do not remember now.
At some point, I got a page for a Code Blue, but by the time I got to the first floor, a nurse told me everything was fine.
I got a page for a heart attack in the ED. But there was no family and patient couldn't communicate, so she told me not to come.
I got a page for a patient death. We are paged for every death. 1) because it makes sense to have a chaplain, religious-y person when a person had died. and 2) there is a form that has to be filled out, and we are the ones who fill it out.
At 2:30 am, I got a page for another patient death.
At 6:00 am, I got a page for a DPOA.
At 8:17 I got a Code Blue page. By this time I was already in the office and Karen offered to take care of it since I had to do the on-call report. Thank you, Karen! :)
During this night, I slept at the hospital. Very briefly, but I slept. There is a chaplain on-call room in the hospital, outfitted with a computer, television, desk, bathroom, and...you guessed it - a hospital bed! I think maybe I slept two hours total. In addition to waking up the the pager, and not being able to sleep because of anticipation of the pager, I was also awoken twice by a floor cleaner and at least once by beeping from the hall that sounded like a carbon monoxide detector dying. I know what that sound is because my detector at home jsut did that.
All in all, I survivede the night. After I gave my report the next morning, I ended with "And that was my first on-call." Everyone there (other chaplains/staff) clapped for me. January 30 will be my next on-call. Which should be really interesting because that is also the first day of classes for Spring Semester at LSTC.
Page went off for the first time not five minutes after I got it. Went and spoke to a patient and family about a Durable Power of Attorney. Any DPOA requests are handled by a chaplain.
Shortly thereafter, I was paged to sit in on a meeting with a family about removing life support from their loved one.
Then I was paged for a regular patient visit.
I got several other pages that I do not remember now.
At some point, I got a page for a Code Blue, but by the time I got to the first floor, a nurse told me everything was fine.
I got a page for a heart attack in the ED. But there was no family and patient couldn't communicate, so she told me not to come.
I got a page for a patient death. We are paged for every death. 1) because it makes sense to have a chaplain, religious-y person when a person had died. and 2) there is a form that has to be filled out, and we are the ones who fill it out.
At 2:30 am, I got a page for another patient death.
At 6:00 am, I got a page for a DPOA.
At 8:17 I got a Code Blue page. By this time I was already in the office and Karen offered to take care of it since I had to do the on-call report. Thank you, Karen! :)
During this night, I slept at the hospital. Very briefly, but I slept. There is a chaplain on-call room in the hospital, outfitted with a computer, television, desk, bathroom, and...you guessed it - a hospital bed! I think maybe I slept two hours total. In addition to waking up the the pager, and not being able to sleep because of anticipation of the pager, I was also awoken twice by a floor cleaner and at least once by beeping from the hall that sounded like a carbon monoxide detector dying. I know what that sound is because my detector at home jsut did that.
All in all, I survivede the night. After I gave my report the next morning, I ended with "And that was my first on-call." Everyone there (other chaplains/staff) clapped for me. January 30 will be my next on-call. Which should be really interesting because that is also the first day of classes for Spring Semester at LSTC.
Friday, January 13, 2012
CPE Orientation and Stuff
The above picture is Rush University Medical Center. The building on the left is the new hospital, the Tower. This medical campus is where I will be for approximately 40 hours a week until mid-March.
CPE for me began on Wednesday, January 4, 8:30 am. Most of weeks 1 and 2 were orientation, and parts of week 3 will be as well. There are three students in my CPE group, me, Nick and Mike. Mary is our supervisor.
Before beginning CPE, many people told me that orientation weeks would be exhausting. I didn't really believe it could be THAT tiring....but I was wrong. Many days, I came home at 5:00...and promptly took a nap. Talking on the phone was a challenge for a few days...I kept leaving words out of sentences.
This is not to say anything negative about the experience, just that it has been tiring. Made all the more tiring on Tuesday/Wednesday. I got to the hospital at about 8:00 on Tuesday morning. I left the hospital at 2:30 Wednesday afternoon. I had just completed my first on-call, shadowing one of the staff.
When one is on call at Rush, it begins with accepting the on-call pager at 8:30 in the morning. You are responsible for taking care of (or referring if appropriate) any pages that come through until 8:30 the next day, when someone else takes the pager. The night I shadowed, we received several calls for visits - patients just wanting a chaplain to come talk to them. We received a call to do a DPOA, a Durable Power of Attorney. At Rush, any request for a DPOA, or even a request for information regarding one, is taken care of by a chaplain. After doing all of those things, and having dinner, we went back to the on-call room. The on-call room is a dorm-like room where the on-call chaplain stays overnight. There is also a bathroom and a second room with a bed. The second room is sometimes used by us and sometimes used by other departments as an on-call room. Pat was the chaplain I shadowed and I actually had a really good time with her. She gave me lots of practical advice...and I gave her some hints on speeding up computer work. ;) We had some good conversation. We went to bed about 2:15 in the morning. She got a code blue (patient stopped breathing or heart stopped) page at 4:30. She called and the nurse said they would call back when family were on their way. Got the phone call at 5:00. We got to the patient's room by about 5:30. The patient died about 5 minutes after we got there. So we stayed with the family, filled out paperwork, got them parking passes, and they left about 2 hours later. We then finished our charting, went back to the room, and got our stuff to be at On Call Report at 8:30. Which is kind of self-explanatory. The on-call person(s) tell everyone else in the department (well, whoever happens to be there) what happened in the last 24 hours.
We have also gotten lots of food these past weeks. One person said that at Rush, CPE actually stands for "Chaplains Perpetually Eating." Fine with me!
We have learned how to do charting of every visit.
We have learned what the Ethics consultation service does.
We have learned what Living Wills, Durable Powers of Attorneys, and the Health Care Surrogate Act are.
We have learned that we need to figure out what, theologically, we are ok with doing. They have told us several times that we will never be forced to do anything against our beliefs....but that we may need to make it happen. I.e. Jewish rabbi was asked to do a baptism. Not in his beliefs. He doesn't do it. Instead, he facilitates it and has the father do it. Things like that.
We have visited the morgue.
We have learned how to use pagers. And I noticed today that our names have finally been changed from last quarter's interns!
We have learned many other things, but some of them have slipped my mind. Information overload. But, not to worry, we have a binder with cheatsheets.
I learned that I really like cheeseburgers and fries from the cafeteria. And that the cafeteria is the cheapest (and is actually reasonable) place to eat in the hospital.
I visited my first patient on a 'cold call' yesterday. I know that sounds bad, but it's what it is. You just walk into a room to talk to a patient with no knowledge of them whatsoever. I got kicked out. Not rudely, but I got kicked out. We were told this would happen and that we need to respect that. We are the only professionals that a patient can kick out of the room - they can't really kick their doctors or nurses out. It's one of the few things they still have control of. So if they want us out, we should get out.
I talked to another patient today, and it went much better. He wanted information about a DPOA.
Sunday there is going to be a memorial service. This is held quarterly for all of the patients who have died in the last quarter. I am participating in it and am reading the Lord's Prayer.
Monday will be an interesting day.
I am on call.
By myself.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
13 Hours
In 13 hours, my 400 hour unit of CPE will start at Rush University Medical Center. I am actually kind of excited about it. And completely terrified. I had to go today to do some paperwork. And I have to do a second TB test. I had one done in Louisville last week, but apparently, if you do the skin test, Rush has to see two, at least a week apart. Yeah, me.
But I got to talk to a few current residents/interns today and they were both very positive. One of them told me I would love it and that the program at Rush is very good. And that everyone is very supportive of each other. She also said that after orientation, I will be completely exhausted because there is so much information.
But I got to talk to a few current residents/interns today and they were both very positive. One of them told me I would love it and that the program at Rush is very good. And that everyone is very supportive of each other. She also said that after orientation, I will be completely exhausted because there is so much information.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)